Dear Right Leg....
I always make the joke that I am one of the few sane people in my family. I have a sneaking suspicion that this occurred by bargaining you off in the womb.... I picture it like a flash forward of my life and you were there....except I was crazy, with 2 legs... Like batshit crazy..... Or give you up and be as normal as possible. That's kinda like an oxymoron to some people right? A one legged "normal" person. Haa, jokes on you right leg. I consider myself about as "normal" as any other 30 something woman.
I don't really miss you, I mean you can't miss something you never had. Sure, I've thought of what my life would be like with two legs. How it would feel to not have to take your replacement off every night for bed, to take a shower, to bathe, to swim, among other things. I've thought about how it would feel to walk barefoot in sand and actually enjoy it instead of wondering if I'm getting sand in my rubber foot shell. I'd love to wade in the water and not be afraid your replacement might pull a tin man act on me and rust.
Honestly, my left leg and I have become very comfortable without you. Oh yeah, there's not envy anymore of women with their perfectly tone, ridiculously shiny legs (ok maybe just a little along with about 100 other women I know).
There are perks to not having you. For one, I only have to shave one leg. Oh yes, be jealous. Not having you has made me a very compassionate person, an accepting person, a more driven person. A woman who is very comfortable in her own skin (and rubber). For a long time, because of not having you I was a miserable, self conscious girl. Now I rock my titanium and I don't care who looks or asks questions. The people who have negative opinions are the people who have far more issues than a chic with one leg, just saying.
Without you I can still drive a car, chase around and dance with my babygirl, work a 40 hour a week job, wear high heels (technology is a beautiful thing), and above all else just be another "normal" person.
I'm sorry if my lack of missing you offends anyone. I've got a pretty good replacement and I manage to not let it slow me down. So I guess it's really that your the one missing out, not me.
Sincerely,
The girl that's jumping on the bucking bronco of life one leg at a.....uhhh, errr.... yeah, the girl that never really needed you anyway.
